I cant help how I feel,

Do you ever get where your sort of stuck! stuck in a place and every day seems to be very similar and you have no clue or control whats going to happen. It drives me mad! seriously I want some idea or something to just inspire me but I dont know what it is! theres just not been anything and I dont know what to do! one day im sure it will all come together! but I need something to just inspire me! I feel like every time I try and make a decision theres someone telling me its wrong or im going to fail. Sometimes I want someone to just say I know your good enough you can do it ! because most of the time I prepare myself to fail. I know its bad! but all people say to me is negative.
I dont feel like I have much worth in peoples life. I dont feel like an important person to someone, ive tryed to think who but theres no one. No friends see my as a priority, My family all seem to have another person. And im trying to figure out who's life I fit into it? I dont think someone can generally say to me your part of mine if you weren't there it would make a big difference. I really want that :| to feel needed somewhere. I get angry because I hear people moan and I look at them and think what you have is what I've always wanted, its weird because that's probably how they feel with there life its uncontrollable isn't it?


Its weird how life works! You always want more! and thats like me! Once in a while it would be nice to hear something positive about me. When its always negative you start to think is there anything good?
am I just being stupid for wanting that?

 I saw this song On glee and I like fell in love with it. The words are amazing

And the main bits are how I really feel sometimes! life always seems so hard, But others have it so much harder and I know that if you cant be bothered to listen read.

What have I done? I wish I could

Away from this ship goin’ under

Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone

Now I feel the weight of the world is

On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

When all that you touch tumbles down?

‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right

To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?

‘Cause I can’t go back and undo this

I just have to stay and face my mistakes

But if I get stronger and wiser

I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

When all that you touch tumbles down?

‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right

To get it ri-igh-ight

So I throw up my fist

I will punch in the air

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair

Yeah, I’ll send out a wish

Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer

And finally, someone will see

How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

When all that you touch tumbles down?

‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right

To get it ri-igh-ight

The verse in big is how I feel always! its so annoying I hate this mood 

I hate negativity

But what people say is what you begin to believe isnt it?

I feel so down sometimes Im happy but theres always a part of me feeling like this

Im sorry if Ive depressed you

I had to let out my feelings

sometimes I would love to be anyone but me :/

Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form ... you can transfigure negativity by turning it toward the light of your soul.

I like that but its hard !.